Dazed and Confused
by islandgirl33
Summary: What if April actually was pregnant after San Francisco, but by the time she finds out, she thinks Jackson has already moved on with another girl. How long can she hide it from him? How will he react once he finds out?
1. Chapter 1

A/N - Anyone else like to see more Japril action this season? This is taking things in a different direction to Shonda. Most other things stay the same, except Jackson is with Jo - for now :-), (Because I don't really like him with that other intern!)

Any feedback appreciated.

* * *

"April, April, you okay?" Jackson said as April looked up to see his gentle blue eyes full of concern, fixed on her face.

"Yeah, yeah..sorry," April replied forcing a small smile back at him from where she was sat at their kitchen table staring dreamily in to space.

"Well, you were miles away," he chuckled, "I was just asking if you wanted a ride in to work, but I need to leave now," he said moving a little closer to her causing her to flinch a little as she inhaled his manly aftershave.

"Oh, no, thanks, I'm going to go in a bit later," she said making her excuses, quickly looking away to avoid catching his eye as she bit her lip and tucked her hair behind her ear. Trying not to let on the explicit sexual fantasy she was unable to stop from running through her mind every time she was near him.

"Okay, if you're sure, maybe catch you later then." He replied a little awkwardly as he turned to walk out of the room and without even thinking about what she was doing April let out a small sigh causing him to stop and turn back to her as he said, "Listen, April, I know you're worried about the situation at work, we all are. But honestly I think we're going to be fine." Flashing her a friendly, reassuring smile as he left the room.

_Easy for you to say,_ April thought as she watched him leave and her heat skipped a beat a little. She wished it was just that simple. That all she was worried about was work and her job. But that somehow seemed to be the last thing on her mind these days, now she was back in Seattle and living with Jackson again.

Hearing the front door slam as Jackson left their apartment April winced, wishing she had just gone with him. She hated that she had to act so weird around him all the time now. That things couldn't just go back to the way that they were before. But in her eyes, she had messed up their friendship and in her heart April knew that things could never be the same again, they'd crossed the line and although it may not have been such a big deal for him, it certainly was for her. Her whole world had been turned upside down over night.

Moving back to Seattle, they had agreed after one highly awkward conversation, that they would put what happened between them in San Francisco behind them and move back in to their old apartment together as friends. Alex had moved out and gone to Hopkins which had left it just the two of them. They were planning on advertising for a third roommate but neither of them had got round to it yet. They didn't actually see that much of each other, both being so busy at work. On the rare occasions they did spend together alone in their apartment, April had found herself wishing, despite how much he had wound her up, that Alex was still around. Back when it had been the three of them living together, things had been fun and carefree. Now with her and Jackson things seemed to be nothing but forced and polite.

Jackson had tried to broach the subject of San Francisco with her again a couple of times in the beginning, but April had always frozen and clammed up. She knew that hurt his feelings a little and it almost come across as though she regretted what happened between them. But the truth was she was out of her depth. At first after that magical night between them she had been nothing but dazed and high. Then slowly reality had crept in and she quickly became paranoid, confused and a tad embarrassed about what had happened. But not once had she ever felt anything even remotely bordering on regret, and she just wished she could find it in her somehow to tell Jackson that.

But it was too late now. Jackson had already moved on. He was dating one of the new interns, Jo. April would be lying if she said it didn't hurt how quickly he had found someone else. She didn't know much about Jo, just that she was prettier, funnier and all round more confident than April had ever been. She was perfect for Jackson and April just had to accept that.

Trying to muster up the energy to get up and leave the apartment for work, April took a sip of her coffee, as suddenly she was hit with a sharp sensation of nausea. She frowned to herself thinking maybe it was down to her barely having eaten the past couple of days, or maybe she had caught the stomach flu that had been going around the hospital, or maybe it was just the fact that she had been kept awake all night by the sounds of Jackson and Jo having sex noisily in the next room. She pushed the coffee away from her and rubbed her forehead, she really needed to pull herself together. She hadn't felt right for days. Jackson had moved on and she needed to too.

...

Arriving in the hospital, April headed straight for the coffee cart, instantly being hit with another wave of nausea as the aroma of freshly ground coffee hit her. She slowed down and took a deep breath as she stopped, spotting her co-workers Meredith and Cristina stood directly in front of her deep in conversation. They quickly stopped what they were saying as they spotted April.

"Oh, I'm sorry," April said looking away, thinking she must have clearly interrupted a private discussion.

"No, it's okay. You're going to find out soon enough anyway, but I'm pregnant." Meredith suddenly announced.

"Oh, wow. Congratulations," April said in shock, she had always thought that Meredith couldn't have children the natural way.

"Thanks, I've just found out," Meredith replied beaming.

"Yeah, after eight weeks, she just thinks to do a pregnancy test now. I mean what kind of _doctor_, doesn't realise they are pregnant for eight weeks?" Cristina said rolling her eyes.

"Says, the _doctor_ that doesn't know how to use contraception," Meredith retorted with her hands on her hips as she glared back at her friend.

"That was one slip up, one, and I at least figured it out straight away. I didn't wait two months," Cristina exclaimed pouting back at Meredith.

"Once is all it takes, Cristina. Did you not learn anything at med school?" Meredith said smugly.

"Oh, okay, you do realise that even on your one or two fertile days a month, you still only have a one in four chance of falling pregnant. So, Kepner, you do the Math," Cristina said turning to acknowledge April.

"I, err…" April muttered shifting a little uncomfortably. Cristina intimidated her when she was in one of these moods.

"Well, anyway, you get the point. You'd have to be extremely unlucky to fall pregnant from one slip up," Cristina said turning back to Meredith.

"Or lucky, depends which way you want to look at it" Meredith said her eyes lighting up playfully as Cristina just scowled back at her. April remained deadly silent as she felt her stomach drop and the cup of coffee she was clutching in her hand suddenly fell to the floor dramatically spilling everywhere.

"Are you okay?" Both Meredith and Cristina said at the same time as they turned to look at April in shock. April didn't say anything as she stared down at the floor to where a rapidly growing pool of liquid was expanding at her feet from her split coffee and it hit her. She had sex – once, no twice. She hadn't had her period for over two months, she had barely even given it a second thought given all the turmoil surrounding her job and the situation with Jackson, but now in hit her, she could be _pregnant!_

…

The more April thought about it the more she tried to dismiss the idea, what would be the chances that she would fall pregnant on her first time? Slim to none. She was just being her usual paranoid, neurotic self and she needed to snap out of it. But as she was hit with another wave of dizziness and nausea she knew she had to at least find out, just to put her mind at rest if nothing else. She had spent the entire morning, looking up conception and the early signs of pregnancy and Cristina was right, the chances of falling pregnant on the couple of fertile days in a woman's cycle were precisely twenty five percent and even then the chances of going on to have a healthy pregnancy were around one in four. But despite the rational side of her brain telling her all of that, April couldn't help but fear for the worst and she had to know the truth. She had calculated exactly how pregnant she could be now and enough time would have passed for the hormones to have kicked in causing sickness and mood swings.

"Dr Kepner, is there anything else you need me to do?," Ross the intern on her service said as he walked up to her. It was unusually quiet in the ER and April had forgotten he was even there, she had been so distracted all day.

"Actually, yes, there is something you can do. Run this urine sample through the labs for me, test for everything and I need the results back today," she said in a low voice as she handed him the bagged up urine sample she had produced moments earlier in the bathroom.

"Uh, sure, but there's no name on it," he said confused as he studied it.

"That's because its confidential, I'm doing a favour for someone, okay. No questions asked. So be discreet," She hissed back at him as she felt her cheeks burn red as her intern eyed her suspiciously and she felt certain he knew it was actually hers.

"Okay, I can be discreet," he replied as he walked off and April dug her nails in to her palm as she exhaled dramatically. She needed to get a grip, she was probably worrying over nothing. Or was she?

….

Later that day April was busy charting when she sensed a familiar male presence next to her. Peering up through her long hair she saw Jackson smiling back at her. She grimaced, he was honestly the last person she wanted to see.

"You got a sec?" He said as his eyes bored in to her intensely.

"Umm..yeah, I guess," she mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact as she felt her cheeks burning annoyingly in his presence.

"It's just its Jo's birthday tomorrow and I wanted to take her somewhere special and I'm a bit out of touch, is there anywhere you could recommend?" He said raising his eyebrows a little as he waited for her response.

April took a deep breath, she couldn't believe how insensitive he was being, asking her of all people that. She suddenly felt her eyes sting with tears and trying to hold them back she swept her hair away from her face as she looked up at him and snapped. "I wouldn't know, don't really get the opportunity to eat out much…..Why don't you ask Yang, she eats out all the time!" Just as Cristina appeared in the distance and the smile on Jackson's face quickly disappeared as he tried to work out just what he had done to make April quite so angry.

"Er.. Dr Kepner, I've got the results back on that patient," Ross suddenly said appearing out of no-where and waving a piece of paper in Aprils face as out of the corner of her eye April saw Jackson turn his back to her to speak to Cristina.

"Not here," she said quickly as she grabbed his arm and pulled him in to the nearest cubicle.

Shooting her a bewildered look, he glanced down at the results sheet as he said, "Well, negative for everything, except there was a high level of the HcG hormone, meaning this girl is….."

April didn't need to hear anymore as his words slowly sank in and she snatched the paper out of his hand as she stared in shock at the results staring her in the face there was no denying it. _She was pregnant!_


	2. Chapter 2

a/n – Thanks for reviews, please keep telling me if you like where this story is going and if I should keep it going?!

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April hugged her knees to her chest as she leaned back against the head board of her bed, and she sighed deep and hard in to her hands covering her eyes as she willed the world to go away. Opening her fingers a little, just enough to peek through them at the scattered debris of discarded white plastic sticks lying around her room. Each one displaying an even brighter blue cross than the one before, making it glaringly obvious that she had beaten the odds, that somehow one reckless night had resulted in the creation of a new life.

As each one had appeared, April willed the blue lines to disappear, just fade away like they had never happened. But she knew that wasn't possible, she was a doctor, she was well aware the mess she had got herself in to was irreversible. There were options of course, talk to your OBGYN in confidence. That was what she kept reading over and over again. On the side of the packaging on the multiple pregnancy test kits she had bought, on the numerous different web pages she couldn't help but visit and then plastered on posters all over the hospital where she worked. Hadn't she even told that many times to frightened young girls herself, when working over at the clinic in the hospital?

Well, there simply weren't any options for April, not at this stage in her life. She had felt very certain her whole life that she wanted to have babies, lots of them. But not like this. When she had found her 'Mr Right', after she'd had her fairytale wedding to him and then after she had reached the point in her career where she knew it wouldn't matter if she took a break for a few years to be a Mom. Sadly, she hadn't achieved any of those things yet. Except maybe, perhaps for the first time in her life, she had briefly entertained the idea that at long last she _had_ found her 'Mr Right'. And she let out a hiccupping sound, as a single tear slid down her cheek and she felt a pit of dread form in her stomach as she thought of _Jackson._

Jackson had wanted to discuss things with April after San Francisco and she had made it clear that she didn't, her fear and anxiety had stood in the way of her taking a leap, of letting go. Had she passed up the chance to be happy? Had she pushed him in to the arms of someone else? When now April had never felt so alone and scared, and she knew she needed him more than ever.

Snapping her out of the flurry of anxious thoughts, April's phone suddenly buzzed and lit up from where she had thrown it down on the pillow beside her hours earlier. She glanced over at it to see it was her sister. She had forgotten she had promised to Skype that evening. April half wanted to answer it, to tell her family the mess she had got herself in to. She knew they would never judge her, they would love and accept her no matter what. But that wasn't the life she wanted to lead. She wanted to make them proud, to be a great doctor, and a good wife and mother. So she ignored the cheerful ringtone as she felt heat building up behind her eyes and the tears flowed more freely as she realized she had to tell Jackson first, she had no choice.

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, April stood up shakily and turning the door to her bedroom she stepped out in to the dark hallway, realizing it was night. She had been in bed for the past nearly two days and she had lost all track of time. Just as she was about to walk down the hallway of her and Jackson's apartment, she froze, as she saw Jackson and Jo stood outside the bathroom, having what looked like a heated discussion, totally unaware of April's presence.

As she stood glued to the spot watching them, April's hand shot up to her mouth as she realized in horror, just what they were arguing about. Jackson had his back to April and he sounded mad as he said, "So, you didn't think to tell me, you just went ahead and did it behind my back," waving an empty, clear blue pregnancy test box in Jo's face.

"I don't know what you're talking about, that thing isn't mine. I'm a doctor and a responsible adult. I think that qualifies me to have effective contraception figured out by now," Jo hissed back at him.

"Really, well why did you feel the need to do this then?" He replied still clutching the empty box as his eyes flashed at her.

April's heart sank, as she retreated back in to the shadows outside her bedroom door. She had thought she had been careful with the bulk pregnancy tests she had bought, making sure not to leave any visible evidence behind, but she must have missed that one box, and she cringed as she heard Jackson say even more coldly. "If there's something you're not telling me."

"Look, I'm telling you that thing isn't mine…" Jo said her hands on her hips as she glared back at Jackson.

"Oh, yeah, well if it isn't yours, then whose is it then?" he replied.

It was at that moment, that Jo suddenly looked up and past Jackson meeting April's anxious and slightly pleading eyes straight on, and without saying anything she looked away and April winced as she closed her eyes, bracing herself for what was to come next.

"Okay, fine, it's mine, okay, happy!" Jo said as she snatched the box out of Jackson's hand, adding, "The contraceptive pill is only 99% effective you know, you can never be too careful."

April half opened her eyes, she certainly hadn't seen that coming. "So, ermm.. was it?" Jackson mumbled his face slightly dazed and flushed.

"Relax, I got my period. You have _nothing _to worry about, the chances of you becoming a Dad in the near future are precisely zero," Jo added as April slowly retreated back in to the comfort of her bedroom again. Throwing herself down on to the bed and wrapping the duvet around her. She wasn't quite sure what had just happened. But she was pretty sure that Jo just had her back, and despite her not being April's favourite person in the world, for that she was very grateful. It would only have been a matter of time before Jackson had figured out the test was really hers and that wasn't how April wanted him to find out they had created a baby together.

But it still left her with the huge dilemma of how and when she would actually break it to him. She had managed to allow herself the faintest glimmer of hope that he might actually be happy about the news, that he might suggest that they raise the baby together, that he might still have feelings for her. But who was she kidding? He had looked utterly horrified when he had thought his girlfriend had done a pregnancy test. So how would he react, if he knew it was really his ex's and it was positive!

…..

April woke early the next morning, tired and confused as it hit her all over again. Sitting up she felt an acute rush of nausea and fatigue as she climbed out of bed. Pulling on her clothes, she looked at her profile in the full length mirror. Her stomach was still flat and toned. There were no visible signs she was pregnant yet. She had read that in a first pregnancy the muscles were still tight and compact and most women wouldn't really start to show until well in to their second trimester. Unless it was twins! April shuddered at that thought, as she crept in to the kitchen, playing over and over again, the conversation she knew she needed to have with Jackson sooner or later.

As she banged around in the cupboards, humming away to herself, looking to find something that could stave of her worsening morning sickness, April settled on making pancakes. Becoming lost in her own little world as she whisked the batter furiously, before switching on the gas ready to fry them. When she suddenly sensed someone behind her and turning around she let out a small scream as she came face to face with Jackson.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," he said as he placed his hand gently on her arm, causing a jolt of electricity to rush through her.

"Oh, that's okay, you didn't scare me. I just wasn't expecting you that's all," April said as her cheeks flushed a little with embarrassment, that she must have come across as such a nervous wreck.

"Couldn't sleep either," he said raising his eyebrows a little.

"Oh, I'm not sure, what time is it?" April said.

"Just past 5am, I was going to go in to work shortly, get an early start….Listen, April, are you okay? I mean, are you feeling okay?" he said a look of genuine concern crossing his face as he edged a little closer to her, causing every nerve in her body to tingle at the thought of him touching her again.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" She said a little defensively as she backed away a little and looked down at the frying pan.

"It's just Hunt said you called in sick the past couple of days and I was worried," he responded as she looked up for a split second and his eyes met hers straight on again and she instinctively blushed.

"Well, I'm fine. I must have caught the stomach flu that was going around." She replied biting her lip as everything inside her was screaming to tell him, _to just tell him!_

Instead all she could manage to say was, "I made some pancakes, you want some?"

"Sure, what happened to muesli and grapefruit?" he said as a small smile crept on to his lips.

"Oh, just fancied a change," April said as she turned away from him to serve up the pancakes, smoothing her hair behind her ear nervously, still trying to work up the courage to tell him.

"Well, if there's anything I can get you let me know," he said kindly, causing her to turn back and look at him and she felt her hands trembling with nerves as she twisted them together, her eyes wide and alert as she opened her mouth and he continued to look back at her expectantly waiting for her to speak, as she eventually said, "Actually...there is something..." Just as his phone rang noisily interrupting her mid sentence.

"Damn it," he muttered as he pulled it out of his jeans pocket and glanced down at the flashing screen. April then froze as she remembered Jo, and he said, "I had a huge fight with Jo last night, I asked her to leave. I'm sorry if our yelling woke you."

"No, no.." April said, truthfully she had been so exhausted she hadn't heard a thing.

He sighed as he brought his hand up to his mouth and said, "She can't understand why I won't introduce her to my Mom. She thinks I'm ashamed of her, or that my Mother won't think she's good enough for me."

"Oh, I thought you didn't care what your mother thought?" April said as she passed him a plate of pancakes. Thinking of the many times he'd made fun of his over bearing mother and they'd both laughed about it.

"I don't, of course I don't, and in her eyes, no woman will be good enough for me," he said with a small laugh that lit up his eyes, before he said. "But I guess introducing a girl to my family is a big deal and I just don't think we're quite there yet, we're not really a _thing_ yet…..plus," he paused as he sat down and took a bite of April's pancake before he said mid mouthful, "She took a pregnancy test without telling me…I mean, it was negative of course and I kind of get why she did it, she worked really hard to get here and she doesn't want to screw it all up by getting knocked up before she's even completed her residency. So she's a little paranoid, but..."

April suddenly felt her stomach drop as she silently watched him eating, before he went on to say, "But it kind of got me thinking, I know I definitely want to have kids one day. But the thought of that test being positive, it just filled me with dread. I would have stood by her, of course I would… " he added, almost to himself more than anything as he went quiet for a moment, deep in thought.

"Well, I don't think they'll ever be a right time to have a child," April said cautiously as she looked at him intently.

"No, true, but there will be a_ right_ person," he replied as their eyes locked for a second and they shared a moment. Hitting April with a burning urge that she needed to tell him, just as he looked away and said, "So, anyway, I told her we needed to cool things and I think whatever it was between us its over. I don't know. I do like her, she's a great girl but maybe that's just not enough." He sighed again as he added, "I don't know what to do now, what do you think?" looking at April intensely.

April suddenly felt furious. They were just going around in circles. Here she was about to tell him that they were going to have a baby. That she felt in her heart that whatever the circumstance, she wanted to raise the baby with him, that he'd make a great Dad, and for the past few weeks he had made her chest flutter like nothing she'd ever experienced before. She wanted him to finally realize all that and to understand why she had freaked about losing her virginity, and more than anything she wanted him to tell her that he felt the same way too. But instead she had absolutely no idea what he was thinking, as she snapped moodily back at him, "I don't think it matters what I think, do you?" Turning and stomping straight out of the room.

…..

Alone in the kitchen Jackson frowned as all thoughts of his break up with Jo quickly faded as he focused on April, the girl for weeks he hadn't been able to get out of his head. He simply couldn't work her out these days. She wasn't like any other girl he had ever known. She was smart and beautiful and kind, but she was also a little uptight, insecure and these days unpredictable. He'd felt something deep for her, for a long time. He hadn't wanted to rush it, he had wanted to build it. But that night before their boards, he'd lost all control, they both had and she'd made it clear it had been a mistake. She had wanted to wait to fall in love and get married. Jackson had thought they could go back to being friends, but he was starting to think that was a mistake. You couldn't just switch off those kinds of feelings. He had stupidly thought he could just date another girl to get over her, maybe even some screwed up part of him had thought that might make April sit up and notice what she could have had. But instead she just seemed more distant and vacant than ever. Jackson realized he would have to let her get on with her life. Sooner or later she would find someone, and no matter how much it would hurt, he would have to deal with it.

He stood up as he dropped his empty plate in to the sink and he realized exactly what he would have to do. He would have to move out!

* * *

A/N – Next chapter – Jackson finds out!


	3. Chapter 3

a/n – Thanks for all the support for this story, you guys rock! I was wondering whether to carry on, because I'm so fed up of being heart broken over all my favourite ships. I just wish Shonda would let one of them be happy on screen!

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with you?," Owen Hunt, the chief of surgery yelled, as April tripped over the side of the empty bed beside her.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I'll go and look for him." April replied her cheeks reddening at the scene she had caused in the ER, losing sight of a mentally ill patient when her back was turned.

"No, you stay there. I'll look for him. What's got in to you recently, April? I'll see you in my office when you're done here," he said as he shook his head angrily and marched off. Leaving April stood tearful and ashamed that she had made another screw up at work. She was normally so thorough, but her first day back at work after she'd been off sick, had been a disaster. Her mind was anywhere but on the job and she knew she had to pull herself together. She couldn't afford to put her career in jeopardy. She knew this was her last chance to make it as a surgeon. Having a baby couldn't screw that up.

….

Knocking slowly on the chief's door later, April felt a knot of nerves as she anticipated what was to come next. Surely he wouldn't fire her? But then again it was common knowledge that there were problems with the hospital budget, and she would surely be one of the first out. Pregnant, single and homeless, she thought miserably and she was a hit with a rush of anxiety as she remained stood waiting impatiently for Hunt to tell her to come in.

She leaned a little closer to the door. She could hear raised voices, a male and a female, and just as she was about to knock again she was sure she heard the chief telling her to go in, so she quickly opened the door and barged in, coming instantly face to face with Hunt and his ex-wife Cristina. They both looked flustered as April instantly realized she had interrupted a very heated conversation. Hunt was a little red in the face and he had his hand on Cristina's arm, as he suddenly turned to acknowledge April, and Cristina scowled and pulled away from her ex-husband.

"Oh, I'm so sorry…I thought you said to come in…I'll just wait outside," April said as her hand flew up to her mouth.

"No, it's fine. I was just leaving." Cristina snapped coldly without so much as looking back in Owen's direction as she abruptly left the room.

April looked back to Owen to see he had his hand on his head in frustration and gesturing for April to sit he said a little apologetically, "I'm sorry you had to hear that it was unprofessional of me."

"Oh, no. That's okay," April replied awkwardly as she sat down in the chair opposite his desk, as he sat too, pouring them both a glass of water from the jug on his desk, handing her one as he said, "A word of advice for you, April. If you ever decide to get married, make sure you're both on the same page children wise. It can really come back to bite you if you don't."

April just looked on at him, unsure quite what she was supposed to say in response. She really hadn't anticipated that she would be called in to the chief of surgery's office to hear about his marriage problems.

"Sorry, you don't want to hear all about my problems," he quickly said as his tone changed and he said. "I actually called you in here, firstly to apologize, it was unprofessional of me, to yell at you like I did earlier."

"That's okay," April responded, it kind of made sense if he was going through a tough time in his personal life, that he would be a little more short tempted around the hospital. Plus, she had probably deserved it too she thought.

"Well, I also wanted to check you were okay. It's not like you to make slip ups like you have today and after you've been off on sick leave, I wondered if everything was alright?"

April twisted her hands together, she knew she needed to tell him the truth, he was her employer after all and she needed to inform him of her condition, but somehow doing that would make it all real and right now she hadn't even consulted an OBGYN yet. Although her swollen breasts, heightened emotions and rapid boosts of morning sickness and dizzy spells, were all constant reminders that she was most definitely pregnant.

"April?" Hunt prompted as he fixed her with a concerned and slightly intense gaze, waiting for her to speak.

April felt a tear roll down her cheek as she looked away from him and she said, "I'm sorry, I feel so stupid."

"Don't be, whatever it is, I'm sure I've heard it all before," he said with a kind smile.

"I'm…I'm…pregnant," April eventually stuttered. She knew he was right, it wouldn't be the end of the world to him, but to her it was life changing as she realized he was the very first person that she had actually told.

"Oh, I see." He said as his jaw dropped slightly and he looked pretty shocked. April knew he wouldn't have seen that coming.

"Well, umm...have you decided what you're going to do?... I mean, the father?," he said as tactfully as he could.

April flinched slightly, the thought of not going through with her pregnancy was unthinkable, but she knew there were certain things she still couldn't face. "He doesn't know, but I'm having the baby of course," she said as the tears flowed more freely and Hunt quickly stood up from his desk to hand her a tissue.

"Thanks," she said, dabbing her eyes.

"Okay, so, I don't mean to pry, and I know it's none of my business, but don't you think you should tell the father? He has a right to know," he said slowly, giving her time to compose herself.

"It's complicated," was all April could manage to reply, through her tears.

"Right," Hunt replied as he looked deep in thought for a moment, unsure exactly how to respond.

"We were friends, but now I….I just don't think I can tell him, I don't know how he'll react, it's really complicated and he's…" she paused to blow her nose.

Hunt broke in to a faint slightly knowing smile as he said, "Look, you don't have to say anymore, okay. I get it. I know it really is none of my business, but I think you should tell him. Because deep down he's a good person and I know he cares about you a lot. Probably more than he lets on ."

April looked slightly confused, before she felt her face flush slightly with embarrassment. Was what happened between her and Jackson really that obvious? Did everyone know? Including the Chief of surgery? Was she just a secret laughing stock?

"You really think that?" She eventually said, adding. "I just feel so foolish."

Hunt looked directly at her as he said," April, honestly, I've worked with him for a while now and I know him better than most people. He tries to pretend otherwise but he has a good heart and despite what you might be thinking now, he'll want to be there for you. He'll want to face up to his responsibilities and I personally think he'll make a great Dad. I mean look how he connects with kids."

April started to get suspicious then. When had Jackson ever really been any good around kids? She opened her mouth to say something, but Hunt cut her off and said, "I know it feels complicated right now, what with him living on the other side of the country and in a new job. But if you both want it to, you can work something out for your child. And don't feel foolish, you certainly aren't the first girl to fall for him around here. Thinking you can change him."

_Alex,_ April suddenly realized, Hunt thought the father of her baby was _Alex!_ April was slightly speechless as it sunk in for a second, before she stammered, "I, I…" Just as Hunt turned to his computer screen and said, "I have an email from him here somewhere if you need his new contact details at Hopkins."

"No, no, that won't be necessary," she said just as his phone rang interrupting their conversation mid flow, and he picked it up, his face dropping as he said, "Yes, put them through," before turning back to April and saying hurriedly, "I need to take this, but I'll contact HR, tell them to send out the necessary paper work and our maternity policies and please think about what I said."

April just nodded her head as he added, "Oh and April, remember my door is always open if you need to talk."

...

April took a deep breath as she stepped out of Hunt's office and suddenly she couldn't help a wide smile from spreading across her face, as she realized at that exact moment in time, if she didn't laugh she would cry as she broke in to a fit of uncontrollable and hysterical giggles. Hunt had just presumed that it was Alex that had got her pregnant.

She knew she would have to set the record straight sooner or later, what if Hunt told Cristina, then Meredith found out, then god forbid, Jackson did, she knew how the place was for gossip.

Trying to compose herself April wiped her moist eyes, this time tears of laughter rather than sadness. Just as it hit her, she was still alone and pregnant and at that exact moment she felt a small jolt in her stomach. She knew it was way too early to feel the baby move, but it was a reminder that she had a little life developing inside her and no matter what happened she already loved it more than anything, and she knew, the chief was right. She had to tell Jackson!

* * *

Jackson sat down opposite Cristina to eat his lunch as he pulled his pager out of his pocket to see a message from April, she wanted to talk after work. He sighed a little as he realized they would have to have yet another uncomfortable conversation about where they went from here.

Jackson looked across at Cristina's moody, aloof face. He knew not to even bother making small talk when she was in one of these moods as he ate his sandwich in silence. "Oh, crap, is it too late to hide?" Cristina suddenly said her eyes rolling, as Jackson looked up to see Meredith violently bang her lunch tray down next to them.

"Don't mess with the pregnant woman," Cristina muttered under her breath.

"Bad morning?" Jackson said politely to Meredith as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Oh, well, you could say that," Meredith said piecing her apple juice carton fiercely with it's straw.

"Do tell," Cristina said sarcastically.

"Derek thinks I'm over doing things in surgery. This whole pregnancy thing is really not all it's cracked up to be, if I'm going to be forced to cut back on surgery. As if that isn't bad enough my OBGYN has cancelled again. I have constant back ache and nausea and the headaches and mood swings…"

"You don't say," Cristina said even more sarcastically interrupting her, as Jackson raised his eyebrows and looked away, he wasn't interested in hearing the details about Meredith's pregnancy. He had never had to have much to do with pregnant women. He was pretty clueless as to what the exact specifics were, outside the basics taught at med school.

"Well you're not alone, Owen had a stack of maternity policy forms on his desk a moment ago. So, some other fool round here is pregnant too….My guess is it's one of those bratty new interns. You not knocked anyone up around here have you?" Cristina said smirking as she looked at Jackson.

"Not that I know of," he replied, a little amused.

"Oh and on top of everything else my intern screwed up again today and I'm exhausted seeing as I was called in to cover for Kepner on my only day off last week…" Meredith pouted, as Jackson flinched at the mention of April's name.

"Yeah, what is going on with Kepner? I haven't seen her pick up a scalpel in weeks, she's got to be careful she's not seen as weak," Cristina said addressing Jackson again.

"She's not weak, she's just been a bit sick, that's all." Jackson said a little too defensively, causing both Meredith and Cristina to look at him in surprise. As he thought back to his most recent awkward exchange with April

"Oh, damn," Meredith said as her phone rang and glancing down at it she said, "And to top it all off, my real estate agent keeps ringing, telling me my house will never sell because it's over priced. I mean as if I haven't got enough to worry about… You don't happen to know anyone that wants to buy a house quickly?" Meredith added as an after thought, as she looked at Jackson.

"Actually, yes I do," Jackson replied.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," April said as she rushed in to the crowded bar to see Jackson had already ordered her a large glass of white wine. She winced slightly at the thought of drinking it.

"Sorry, I thought you wanted a drink?" Jackson said a little confused as he took in Aprils look of disgust at the wine. April didn't say anything at first as she slid in to the seat opposite him. He looked incredible in a fitted light green t shirt accentuating his muscular chest and she tried to focus on the conversation she knew she needed to have with him and not the desperate urge to tear his top off. Losing her virginity had certainly awakened something inside her and now put together with her pregnancy hormones, sex, and more specifically sex with Jackson, was all April could think about a lot of the time.

"April?" Jackson said as she realized she still hadn't said anything.

"Oh, sorry. I'm still not feeling one hundred per cent, I think I'll just get some water," she said as she went to stand up.

"No, no..I'll get it, you stay there," Jackson said as he quickly walked up to the bar. Glancing back to see her anxious face, staring in to space, he suddenly panicked, he hoped she was okay. He knew people were starting to question her ability at work and he couldn't bear to see her look so unhappy. He cared about her, no, more specifically he loved her, he thought to himself, as he suddenly felt a feeling of dread at the conversation they would have to have in a moment.

"Thanks," April said as he walked back over and handed her the water and she bit her lip, as she tried to work up the courage to just tell him.

Jackson sat back down and cleared his throat and before April had the chance to say anything, he said, "Listen, April, I'm glad you suggested a drink tonight, because there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

April felt her stomach churn with anxiety, he sounded quite serious and he had no absolutely no idea the bombshell she would be dropping on him any moment either. She wished she had just told him as soon as she had arrived and got it over with, as she looked at him, waiting for him to continue with whatever it was that he wanted to say.

"I'm buying Meredith's house," he blurted out.

"You're w..what?" April stammered, she certainly hadn't been expecting him to say that.

"I mean we only agreed it today. But I've been thinking about buying a house for a while and she needs a quick sell on her place, so it just kind of makes sense." He said pausing to try and gauge her reaction, she looked as though she was about to cry.

"April, say something," he said anxiously.

"So, you're moving out then?" Was all April could mumble in shock as it hit her she was soon going to be pregnant and possibly homeless. She couldn't afford the rent on her own.

"Well, yeah, I guess. But I'll still pay my share of the rent, until you can find new roommates," he said gently. He wasn't a total asshole and he was a little shocked she would actually think he would just abandon her like that.

"Oh, I see," April replied, still panicking, who the hell could she get to move in with her and a baby?

"Listen, I know you asked me here to talk, but I just don't think there's any point having another conversation clearing the air. I know you regret what happened between us, but I can't change the past, April. So I think its probably for the best if we avoid each other for a while, let things blow over, so we can concentrate on our careers." He said carefully. This was more difficult that he had thought, he hadn't anticipated she would be this upset as he looked over at her eyes brimming with tears. He really couldn't work her out. She didn't want him, she'd made that clear, so why was she acting so upset now? He took a swig of his beer as he sighed and waited for her to say something, any small thing to indicate what she was thinking.

"I can't concentrate on my career," She said as she burst in to tears and added…"Because, I'm…I'm pregnant!"

Jackson nearly spat his beer out as her words hit him and suddenly it all made perfect sense_. The pregnancy test, her being sick, the mood swings!_ How could he not have realized?

"How long have you known?" Was all he could say, in complete shock. Not sure whether to be mad, happy or stressed.

"Only about a week," she replied quietly as she waited for his reaction.

"Why didn't you say anything when you found out?" He said slightly accusingly, the hurt shining through in his eyes at how she could just shut him out like that.

"I didn't know how to. Oh, I'm sorry Jackson, this is such a mess." She said as she wiped her eyes.

Jackson instinctively leapt up and rushed to her side, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her slightly. He wasn't quite sure what he felt at the moment in time, but he knew one thing for sure, April needed him, as he whispered in to her ear. "_It will be okay."_


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Sorry for the delay in updating this story. I hope people are still interested in it. Thanks for all the feedback and support so far, please keep reviewing :)

* * *

"Are you ok in there, April?" Jackson said anxiously as he knocked gently on the bathroom door. She had been in there for over thirty minutes and he was worried, plus, they were going to be really late for work if they didn't get a move on soon.

"Yep, I'm fine, just give me a minute," April replied wearily from where she was sat hunched over the toilet, bringing up the remainder of her breakfast still. She really didn't get why they called it 'morning sickness', for the past couple of days she'd seemed to have had nothing but morning, day and night sickness.

"Do you need me to get you anything? I could get you a quick coffee?" Jackson said clumsily from where he was still stood helplessly on the other side of the door.

April sat up and rolled her eyes a little. She knew he was doing his best, he was only trying to help, but he always seemed to say the wrong thing. She crawled slowly over to the bathroom door and unlocked it as she could just about muster up the energy to sit back against the bathroom wall.

Jackson walked in slowly, his eyes full of concern as he saw April sat on the bathroom floor and he crouched down to join her, resting his back up against the wall next to her, as he said, "Are you ok?"

April frowned, she knew he meant well, but he must have asked her that question nearly a thousand times over the past couple of days, since he had found out she was pregnant. She was aware that he was still in shock, but all they seemed to have done was discuss how she was feeling, what she needed. They still hadn't had a single conversation about where they stood with each other, and rather than be treated like a porcelain doll, April wanted to know if he felt the same way about her as she did about him. Whether there was any chance that they could have a shot at a future together, that didn't just involve joint custody of a kid. A small tear slid down her cheek as she replied quietly, "I'm ok, just a bit sick."

"Right, well that's a good thing isn't it? It means the pregnancy hormones are doing their job," Jackson replied kindly, making April cry a little more, he just didn't get it.

"How is any of this good?" She exclaimed, holding her head in her hands.

"April, you still have a choice," he said cautiously, he knew he had to tread carefully, but there were still things he wanted to say, none the less.

April's cheeks reddened with frustration, that he could even suggest such a thing as she snapped back, "I don't have a choice, this is a life we're talking about here."

Jackson held his hands up as he said, "Ok, ok, you're right, I'm sorry. But if you don't want it to be, this doesn't have to be the worst thing in the world."

"No you're right and I'm sorry," April replied more calmly, suddenly feeling bad for her neurotic outburst. She had actually felt a whole lot better since she had told Jackson, she no longer felt as though she was completely on her own and she knew she wasn't being entirely fair on him as she said. "It's not that I haven't always wanted to be a Mom, to have a big family. Just not like this. I wanted it to be planned and I wanted my baby to be born to two parents that were committed to each other, that..."…she swallowed and said…" that loved each other," looking up to catch his eyes straight on, to see that there was a very definite look of hurt projecting from them and she wondered just what she had said to provoke that reaction.

"Right, well I'll just wait for you in the car," he quickly said as he sprung up and walked out of the bathroom, making April realize she needed to stop being such a hormonal mess and think about what he was going through too.

* * *

"You sure you're ok to work today? Because if you're not…" Jackson said as they approached the hospital entrance.

"Jackson, I'm not sick, I'm pregnant," April replied with a small smile.

"Ok, well, remember the appointment is for 3pm," he said, pausing as they reached the front doors.

"I know," April said as she looked back at him, unable to help the smile on her face from widening a little further. Pretty much as soon as he had found out about her pregnancy, Jackson had got her an appointment with best ob-gyn in the state. April wasn't quite sure how he managed it so quickly, but then again he was an Avery she thought, that name alone was sure to open any door he wanted. "Listen, you don't have to come if you don't want to, if you're too busy?" April said shyly as she looked at his handsome face staring intensely back at her.

"Of course, I'll be there," he replied and he moved a little closer to her and for a moment April swore he was about to lean in and kiss her, but instead he just wrapped his arms around her and drew her in to a rushed slightly awkward hug. As they broke apart April sensed his phone vibrating noisily in his coat pocket, he pulled it out and frowned. April looked at him curiously, as he explained, "It's my mother, she wants me to meet her for lunch, says she has something important she needs to discuss with me."

"Oh, well you can always skip the appointment," April said.

"April, I'll be there," he replied firmly.

"So, you going to tell your mother about the baby?" April said as she chewed her lower lip in anticipation. Looking up at him through her eyelashes.

"Let's just get this appointment over first," he said as he pulled his pager out of his pocket and said, "I've really gotta go, I'll see you later."

April sighed silently as she watched him walk off. She knew she shouldn't be upset that he wasn't going to tell his mother yet, she knew they had a strained relationship. But the insecure side of her couldn't help but worry that Jackson was ashamed to tell his mother he had got a girl like April pregnant, that she wouldn't approve, or think April was good enough to date an Avery. April was thankful that Jackson was a decent guy and he was standing by her, but she just wished she knew where she stood more. She knew she should just be grateful to him, for being so attentive and caring. This wasn't a fairytale, he wasn't just going to swop her off her feet so that they could live happily ever after. The most she could expect from him was that he was a good father to their child. Sooner or later he would start dating someone else, someone that would make his mother proud, and April would just have to deal with it.

* * *

"Okay, Dr Kepner, we really should get started," Dr Parker, April's ob-gyn said as April glanced at her watch for the second time. Jackson was over ten minutes late for her appointment.

"I'm sorry, it's just my…." April stammered.

"April, this is really quite normal with newly expectant fathers," Dr Parker said, she was a kind looking woman in her late forties, April had never worked with her but her reputation was outstanding. "They freak out a little at the first appointment, because suddenly it makes it all real. It's not just going to be the two of you anymore, there will be someone else to factor in, when he's been used to having you all to himself."

April felt her cheeks burn and her lower lip tremble a little, she knew the older doctor meant well, but she really didn't know what she was talking about. She and Jackson had never been a loving couple, they'd simply had a couple of one night stands. Dr Parker instantly picked up on the signals as she clasped her hands together and said, "Right, well lets get on with the boring stuff and then by the time he gets here we will be on to the fun stuff."

…..

"Well, all seems to be ok health wise, April. You're a low risk pregnancy, so if you want to hop up on to the bed, we can take a look at the baby," Dr Parker said moments later after carrying out the initial checks. April nodded slowly in response as she realized it was looking increasingly likely that Jackson wasn't going to make it as she smoothed her hair behind her ears and lay back on the bed. She wondered if he'd forgotten, or whether it was simply that something else of higher importance had come up, as she looked miserably at the vacant chair beside the bed. She'd told herself she'd be ok if Jackson wasn't here, but the truth was she wanted them to share this moment together, the moment they saw their baby for the first time.

"This should feel a little cold," The older doctor said, poised ready to smear the cold jelly on to April's exposed abdomen. Just as the door to her office flung open and Jackson rushed in. A small smile crept on to the ob-gyn's lips as she raised an eyebrow and said "Ever heard of knocking, Dr Avery?"

"Sorry… and sorry I'm late." Jackson replied as he looked at April meeting her anxious eyes with an apologetic smile.

"Well, you're here now, no harm done, and just in time too. We're about to listen to the baby's heartbeat," Dr Parker said as she picked up the wand to hold to April's stomach as Jackson sat down slowly on the vacant chair beside the bed. April instantly relaxed, feeling a brief rush of relief and happiness, as her lips curled up in to a reassured smile, before she was suddenly hit with a wave of nerves again.

They were all silent for a second, as Dr Parker switched on the ultrasound machine. Jackson could sense how nervous April was as he instinctively reached for her hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. April just frowned as she concentrated intensely on the screen in front of her. The pregnancy hadn't been planned. But she had slowly got used to the idea that she was going to be a Mom and if anything went wrong now she knew it would be devastating.

"Okay, there you go, one healthy baby, everything looks perfect," Dr Parker said as a grainy image appeared on the screen and the sound of a tiny little heart beat thundering away like galloping hooves, filled the room. Both April and Jackson couldn't help the huge grins of joy spread across their faces at the first sight of the tiny baby that had come crashing in to their lives so unexpectedly.

"Can you tell the sex?" Jackson suddenly asked, unable to take his eyes away from the moving image of his unborn child on the screen in front of him. It was all so real now, he was going to be a father.

"It's a little early, but I can take a guess if you like?" The ob-gyn replied.

Jackson glanced at April as she shook her head and said, "No, it's ok, I think we should wait."

* * *

"I really am sorry I was late," Jackson said as they stood waiting for the elevator.

"Huh..what" April mumbled, mesmerized and unable to take her eyes away from the strip of scan images of her tiny un born baby, she was clutching tightly in her hand.

"Just about earlier, sorry I didn't make it in time," Jackson said again as the elevator doors pinged open and they both stepped inside. He really did feel terrible, he knew what a big deal this first appointment had been for April and how freaked out she was about the whole thing and he'd wanted to be there for her. He just hadn't quite been anticipating the huge bombshell his Mother was about to drop on him over lunch either.

"Oh, no worries, you got there in the end," April replied as she looked at his guilty face, "How did lunch go with your mother?" She said, suddenly remembering that was probably the reason he had been late.

"Oh, it was….interesting," he replied looking down at the floor as the doors opened on his floor. "Listen, I have a few things to take care of now, but why don't we go out for dinner tonight, then we can talk, properly," he said.

"Okay, that sounds good," April replied, as she beamed back at him a little, still on a high from her ob appointment. Maybe everything would be ok now, she thought, and maybe they were actually making progress towards becoming a proper family after all.

* * *

Jackson looked down at his pager to see another message from Cristina asking him to meet her in the foyer. He sighed, knowing exactly what she wanted. He couldn't ignore her anymore, this time after three messages, he'd have to go and see her.

He immediately spotted her with Meredith, leaning up against the wall by the coffee cart and he sheepishly wandered over to join them mid conversation.

"So, I got Derek to rub bio oil in to my stretch marks last night," Meredith said smiling at Cristina as Jackson looked at them both and shot them a friendly smile as he joined them.

"Do, I look like I care?" Cristina said to her friend, raising a perfectly sculpted eyebrow as she opened her mouth and turned to corner Jackson.

"I was just saying. I never thought we'd become 'that' couple. Where the woman gets the husband to sit up in bed and rub bio oil in to her stretch marks, whilst she reads aloud to him from 'what to expect, while you're expecting." Meredith added with twinkle in her eye. Jackson flinched a little, trying not to look too affected by their conversation, realizing they had no idea where he had just been with April or that he too was an expectant father now.

"Mer, seriously, you are not a good advert for pregnancy or married life in general." Cristina said sarcastically, adding, "What happened to you?"

"What happened to me? I grew up and became a wife and mother and actually it's pretty great, you should try it sometime, " Meredith said smiling, as she turned her attention to Jackson and said, "Hey, did my agent call you? The contracts should be ready for you to sign on the house, then you can collect the keys and its all yours."

"Oh, great, " Jackson said, remembering that was another problem he had to sort.

"You paged," he then said looking directly at Cristina.

"Yeah, what's this I hear about the Harper Avery Foundation looking to buy out the hospital?"

"Oh, that. You got the message about the urgent meeting today then?" Jackson replied. Knowing they certainly wouldn't be prepared for what was going to be revealed later.

* * *

April folded her arms as she scoured the busy flow of people coming out of the hospital entrance. She frowned, this was the second time today Jackson had let her down as she realized he was nearly forty minutes late. She pulled her phone out to see no messages and just as she was about to send him an angry hormonal text message, she spotted Meredith, Cristina, Derek, Callie and Arizona walking out of the entrance. They stopped and grouped together looking as though they were having a pretty heated conversation as April looked on curiously wondering what was so important. They broke apart and Derek, Meredith and Cristina walked off together in April's direction.

"April, you ok?" Derek said as she caught his eye for a second.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just waiting for Jackson," she replied.

"Well, don't hold your breath," Cristina said. Causing April to suddenly feel a little uneasy.

"Cristina," Meredith hissed.

"Oh, what? She's going to find out sooner or later. Avery's Mom has just bought him the hospital. He's in charge now, of everything." Cristina said sharply.

"What?" April stammered her mouth falling open in shock.

"Oh, don't look so worried, you'll be fine. Everyone knows he has a soft spot for you." Cristina said.

April felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. No wonder he'd had better things to be doing than taking her out for dinner to discuss their future. She had forgotten he was from a different world, a world April could only dream of and she was stupid to ever thing she could have been a part of that.

* * *

Jackson sighed, it had been one hell of a day. He had seen the image of his unborn child for the first time, heard it's little heart beat, and he'd also found out his mother wanted him to be in charge of the entire hospital. That wasn't something to take lightly. Plus, his lawyer had just called; the contracts were ready for him to sign on Meredith's house. In the space of a week, he had gone from carefree single guy to home owner, with a baby on the way, in charge of a whole hospital.

He thought of April, about what she had said to him first thing that morning about how this wasn't how she wanted to bring a child in to the world. She had looked so sad, he knew she held him responsible for ruining her life. But although he did feel a little scared, over whelmed even, he also wanted to do the right thing by her. He wanted to make her smile again.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his mother had wanted to see him before he left for the day, but there was no sign of her. He was about to turn and walk away, when he spotted her in the distance walking towards him.

"Let me take you out to dinner tonight, to celebrate," Catherine Avery said as she waltzed up to her son.

"I can't tonight," Jackson replied as he looked at his mother.

"What could be more important, than dinner with your mother?" She said fixing him with an intense glare.

"I've made plans," he replied firmly.

"Listen, I realize this must all be a little over whelming for you. So, while you get used to it, if there is anything I can do, anything at all…" Jacksons's mother said as her eyes scanned over her son's face.

"Actually, yes there is something you can do…" Jackson replied as an idea suddenly popped in to his head.

* * *

Opening the front door to her apartment, April froze as she immediately heard voices coming from the kitchen. She didn't recognise any of them and she wondered what was going on as she walked across the hall, a little anxious as to who was in her apartment, but still pretty pissed that Jackson had stood her up. She had waited for nearly an hour, before it had started to rain and she had made her way home, alone.

Walking in to the kitchen April looked on in shock as she was met with the inquisitive faces of a group of total strangers, a youngish couple looking like they had been deep in conversation with an older guy in a suit who had his back to her, "As you can see it's recently been refurbished to a very high standard…" the suited man said, before he quickly turned around to look at April's puzzled and annoyed face.

"What's going on?" April said a little exasperated.

"Oh, you must be Miss Kepner?" He said as he glanced down at the folder in his hand.

"It's Dr Kepner, actually." April replied, putting her hand on her hip.

"Right, well, I'm just showing these people around the apartment. I spoke to your roommate Dr Avery, he said it would be ok. We explained we need to start the process of re-letting the place again."

"Oh, he did, did he? Nice of him to tell me," April snapped, dropping her bag down on to the floor in frustration. Causing all three of the strangers in front of her to exchange slightly bemused looks at her sudden outburst.

"Could we take a look at the second bedroom again?" The woman quickly said.

The agent turned to April, as she simply said, "Be my guest." Glad to get them out of her sight as they promptly left the room. Alone, April sank down at the kitchen table flopping her chin in to her hand. Trying to make some kind of sense of the day she had just had.

"We'll see ourselves out then, thanks," The agent said as he poked his head around the kitchen door to where April was slumped at the kitchen table.

"Okay, fine, you're welcome," April said forcing a small smile as she heard the front door close behind them. She sighed with relief. She was just contemplating whether to watch some trashy TV, or whether to just go and soak in a hot bath and feel sorry for herself, when she heard the front door slam again. She tensed a little, wondering whether the agent had forgotten something, when she looked up to see Jackson appear at the kitchen door. He looked a little flustered with tiny droplets of fine rainwater still fresh in his hair. He smiled a little guiltily, walking closer to her.

"I waited for you, for an hour," April said defensively.

"I'm sorry, I had something I needed to take care of," he said as he looked at her pink cheeks and she looked away.

"You could have called," she replied sulkily. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him, to kiss him, have him hold her in his strong arms, but she was just too mad at him for that. He'd hurt her and made her feel like an idiot, like she didn't matter.

"My phone was out of battery," he said, realizing how bad that sounded even thought it was the truth. She didn't reply, so he just took a step towards her. "But, April, I've been thinking," he said as she still wouldn't meet his eye. "I know all this is really hard on you and I want to do the right thing by you, so I got you this," April immediately looked up, as he pressed a large velvet blue box in to her hand.

She just looked at it for a second, as his eyes bored in to her expectantly, as he smiled nervously and said "Open it."

April looked at it for a moment more, before she cautiously prized open the smooth exotic looking box and her mouth fell wide open. There staring back at her was the biggest most dazzling and beautiful, perfectly cut round diamond she had ever seen, sparkling back at her. She was speechless as she just gazed at it, stunned.

Jacksons's face broke in to a grin as he said, "I had to guess on the size, but they said they can change it."

April still didn't say anything as the smile faded from Jackson's face and he said urgently, "April, say something."

April snapped the box shut, as her eyes welled up slightly, this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to, as she said, "It's beautiful, but I can't accept it."

"What? " Jackson said completely taken aback, that wasn't the reaction he had been expecting as he said. "April, I thought this was what you would want?"

April stood up and looked directly at him, and her voice shook with emotion as she said, "No, what I want, Jackson. Is for you to stop deciding what _I_ want, what's best for me. I want to decide when I'm moving out of my apartment. I want to find out from you, no-one else, that you're now in charge of the hospital and most of all I want you to marry me out of love and not out of a sense of duty." Thrusting the ring box back in to his hand, as she turned to storm past him and out of the kitchen. Leaving Jackson stood glued to the spot staring after her in complete disbelief.

* * *

a/n - Sorry for the end to this chapter. But hopefully it will all be worth it in the end!


	5. Chapter 5

a/n - Thank you so much for the reviews and interest in my story still. You guys are AMAZING! I am very committed to this story and I try and write whenever I get the chance! Especially now I have a feeling we wont be seeing a happy ending for Japril on screen, any time soon :(

This chapter was originally going to be split in to two, but I think it works better as one! It was one of my favourites, so I really hope you guys like it too!

* * *

April carefully closed the door to her bedroom and breathed out slowly. She was pretty sure Jackson had just proposed to her. Something she had been fantasizing about for months. How it would feel to have a beautiful sparkling engagement ring sat on her finger, as she proudly made preparations for a wedding that she'd dreamed about since being a little girl. Whilst most importantly, she looked forward to the wonderful life she'd be having as Jackson's wife, as they planned for their future together.

But instead of being on cloud nine, just when she had been so close to having all of that, she had turned him down! In fact not just turned him down, but flat out refused to even discuss the matter. _Are you mad?_ A little voice buried deep inside her head kept saying, as she felt her pulse race furiously around her body. Part of her, a very big part of her wanted to rush out of the room, to tell him she'd made a mistake, that she'd love to marry him, for their baby to be born to married parents. Then everything would be perfect. Or would it?

She felt mad at herself, that she had freaked out again, that she hadn't taken the chance to be happy and grabbed it with both hands. But as she walked over to her bed and sank down on to it, she realized she was really madder at Jackson. Even if he didn't love her the way she loved him, even if he viewed marrying her as a simple arrangement, as the right thing to do, and the best way to make her happy. It wasn't enough. It simply wasn't enough. She knew she deserved better.

But, would she ever get better? she thought, as she stared at her phone sat by the side of her bed. Was this a decision she would regret for the rest of her life? She felt her eyes brim with tears again, as she realized she had absolutely no idea what to do. What made it even worse, was that she felt completely alone. She literally had no-one to talk to about it. At that point in time, April felt as though she didn't have a single friend in the world, that understood her, that she could properly talk to. Her family were thousands of miles away and they wouldn't understand anyway, they'd just worry. Everyone at work seemed so robotic and aloof most of the time. She had become slightly friendlier with Meredith and Cristina recently, but she knew they would never view her as one of them. And April's closest friend at work, was the reason she was in this sorry mess in the first place, and she felt a deep pang of sadness as she realized Jackson was the one person that she had always gone to when she had been in need of someone to talk to, someone to comfort her, to say the right thing to make her feel better. Ever since Reed and Charles had died, it had always seemed to be just the two of them against the world a lot of the time.

Thinking about Reed was immensely painful, as April remembered how her life had been cut short in such a brutal way. Reed had been April's best friend, ever since they had both started their internship together at Mercy West. Reed had been everything April hadn't been. She was outgoing, confident and didn't take any crap from anyone, whilst April had been shy, nervous and slightly uptight, but despite all that they had just clicked. April knew Reed could appear a complete bitch, but underneath it all she was the kindest most loyal friend April had ever had and April missed her every single day. At that moment, April missed her more than ever as she wondered what Reed would say to her, if she was here right now. How surprised she would be if she knew what was going on. She'd always said Jackson was the kind of guy you'd marry. That unlike a lot of the womanizing assholes at Mercy West, he was actually a decent guy. She also remembered Reed saying you should never take any crap from a guy. That if you let them walk all over you once, that was it, they'd never respect you. But April wandered what Reed's take would be, on whether you should marry your best friend that had knocked you up, that you were secretly in love with.

April sighed as she realized she would never be able to ask Reed now. She then flinched a little as she heard the front door shut, realizing Jackson must have gone out. She glanced at the time to see it was past eleven and she wondered where he was going and if he was coming back.

* * *

Jackson sat staring in to space as he robotically twisted the dark blue velvet ring box in his hand. He knew he would have to return it, that would be the easy part. Trying to explain to his mother why he no longer needed her loan wouldn't be so straight forward. But then nothing about this was straight forward. He had really thought April would have been delighted and he just didn't get why he always seemed to be such a disappointment to her.

He glanced around the crowded warm bar as he sipped his beer. He could honestly say he didn't recognize anyone in there anymore. It wasn't like the olds days when he'd come in most nights after his shift at the hospital and never be short of someone to talk to. Nowadays it was though everyone in his peer group had moved on. Or maybe they were just avoiding him. That was only going to get worse too, once the news broke that he was soon about to become head of the hospital board and technically everyone's boss.

He looked over to the corner of the bar, to where a group of the new interns were sat chatting and laughing noisily. They looked full of carefree excitement and raw enthusiasm. Jackson remembered only too well, what that felt like, thinking you could take on the world. Well, they had no idea just what was about to hit them, he thought to himself as he continued to quietly sip his beer and watch them. Thinking back to his own intern days at Mercy West. He had nothing but fond memories of his old intern group, Charles, Reed and of course April. He wondered what life would be like now if Reed and Charles were still around. He felt certain, they would be a couple by now, Charles having finally manned up and told Reed how he felt about her. It had been just a matter of time, they were perfect for each other, everyone else could see it, but them. Jackson had spent many a time over a few beers trying to convince Charles of that fact.

Jackson had hit it off with Charles immediately; they had the same interests, came from similar backgrounds, had the same sense of humour and shared the same values. Charles could be a total jerk at times, but when it came to the people he cared about he always did the right thing and Jackson missed having someone around he could relate to and really talk to man to man. Since Charles had died, Jackson had had his old mentor Mark Sloan for a while, but then after Sloan had died too, Jackson had decided he was simply the wrong friend to have and he kept himself to himself. Although, right now he could really do with a friend, he thought.

Jackson thought about what Charles and Sloan would say if they could see the predicament he and April were in now. He felt certain if they were both looking down on him they'd be laughing. If Sloan were here he'd be telling Jackson to cut his losses, to run while he still had the chance, that there would be nothing stopping him from still being a decent father to his child, as well as having his pick of the hottest women around. Charles on the other hand had always really liked April. He would be telling Jackson to make it work somehow, to tell her how he felt before it was too late and he let her go for good.

Jackson looked at the empty bar stools either side of him, as he realized he honestly had no idea where he went from here. He was alone and confused.

He then saw his phone light up and buzz from where he had placed in on the bar in front of him. He picked it up and raised his eyebrows as he looked at the name flashing up on the screen. He never thought he'd actually be so pleased to hear back from that 'person' again.

* * *

April reapplied her lip gloss in her rear view mirror and straightened her crumpled blouse, before stepping out of the car and walking up, for one of the last times, to the front door of the apartment she still shared with Jackson. Things had been super awkward between them for the past week to say the least. She'd wanted to apologize for the abrupt way she had refused his proposal, to tell him that she hadn't meant to hurt his feelings or come across as ungrateful. But, somehow, yet again, she just couldn't find the right words to do that. He had been more than understanding though and they had agreed that for now, April would move in to Jackson's new house with him and they would see how things went from there as friends. April felt sad every time she thought about that conversation, as she knew she wanted more, much more.

Since then, they had barely seen each other over the past couple of days and had only had one other very brief conversation when Jackson had told her they could move in to the new house at the weekend, and that he'd also been in touch with Alex, who would be coming back from Baltimore on Saturday to clear his stuff out of his old room and take it back with him. That had pleased April, Alex had typically just taken off and left his old room in a bit of a state and she feared it would be down to her to sort it all out for him as usual, as she really couldn't see Jackson doing it.

As April stepped inside the front door, she looked at all the carefully labelled boxes lined up in the hall and it hit her they really were moving on. It really was the end of an era. She and Jackson both had the weekend off work to move and Jackson had taken care of everything for her. He'd organized a van to move all their stuff and also for someone to clean the new house from top to bottom before they moved in.

Careful not to trip over the boxes, April made her way in to the kitchen, where she heard Jackson talking to what sounded like Alex, as she suddenly remembered it was Saturday, the day Alex was due to come back. She opened the door a little and peered in curiously, to see that they were deep in conversation. April did a double take at first, it was just like old times as she heard Alex say arrogantly to Jackson. "Nah, dude, I am telling you that right there is the penis." As he pointed at the strip of scan pictures Jackson was holding up to the light.

"No it's not. That's just the umbilical cord. It's way too early to tell the sex yet." Jackson replied shaking his head as he continued to examine the picture carefully.

"Normally, yes, but he takes after his father, so it's obvious straight away," Alex said grinning.

"Yeah, whatever," Jackson replied.

April felt her whole face immediately heat up with anger as she realized Jackson was parading their scan pictures to Alex of all people, when she hadn't even shown them to her family yet. She pushed the door open a little more and they both looked up. April immediately catching Jackson's eye as he shot her a slightly apologetic look.

"April, good to see you," Alex said grinning even wider as he walked towards her to hug her.

"Good to see you too?" April replied forcing a smile back, she was pleased to see Alex. But she was more than a little annoyed with Jackson, as she met his eye again over Alex's shoulder to see he was still clutching their scan pictures and she looked away coldly, letting him know she was not cool with that at all. At the very least she had wanted to tell their friends together.

She was just about to open her mouth to give Jackson a piece of her mind, when Jackson quickly explained, "Alex has some news."

"Yep, that's right," Alex replied as he took the scan pictures out of Jackson's hand and said proudly, "This here is the next Karev. I thought I'd give a little gift back to the world and pass on my fantastic genes."

April's mouth fell wide open in shock as Alex proudly passed her the pictures. "Congratulations, you're going to be a fa.. father?" April stammered as it sank in, the scan pictures were actually Alex's not hers!

"Thanks, glad someone around here's pleased for me. I stopped by the hospital on my way over and told Yang and Hunt, and Hunt acted as though I'd murdered someone. I mean what it with that guy? Talk about judgemental, who gives him the right, like he's not been screwing his ex-wife for months." Alex replied, as April let out a loud gasp, causing both Alex and Jackson to turn and look at her in shock, as it hit April the reason Hunt would have been so unimpressed with Alex was that he still thought that Alex was the father of April's baby too. When Alex had no idea she was even pregnant. If it wasn't such a mess it would be funny.

"You okay?" Jackson said to her.

Composing herself April just nodded as she smiled politely back at Alex again, trying to get over her sudden surprise. This was the last thing she had been expecting from Alex to say the least, he had only been gone for what seemed like five minutes anyway, he'd obviously got busy with someone as soon as he'd arrived at Hopkins she thought, as she wrinkled her brow, wondering just who the mother of his unborn child was. Just as the door to the kitchen swung open again and a familiar looking blonde women walked in to stand by Alex.

"Sorry, work call," she said holding her phone up. April looked closer at her she was definitely pregnant, her stomach was visibly rounded, but she looked stunning her hair was shiny, her skin was flawless and her eyes wide and sparkling April thought enviously.

"You guys remember Izzie?" Alex said, as April caught her eye and smiled and Izzie smiled warmly back at her.

"Yeah, kind of?" April said still a little confused, Izzie was Alex's ex-wife?

"I can't believe you guys are moving in to Meredith's old house, it will make such a great new home for you," Izzie said as she grinned a little more, causing both Jackson and April to grin too, it was infectious.

"Yeah, I, I mean _we_..hope so," Jackson said, looking directly at April as she quickly turned her head away and a slightly awkward silence followed. As they both thought it was hardly as though they had bought the place together to live happily ever after in.

"Right, well, I'd better get to work dismantling my old bed then," Alex said loudly breaking the silence, as he added, looking at Jackson "You haven't got a screwdriver set I could borrow have you?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll give you a hand if you like," Jackson said glad to get out of the awkward atmosphere as both men walked out of the room.

…

With they guys gone, Izzie looked over at April and raised her eyebrows as April quickly said, "Would you like a drink? Some coffee, or some iced tea?"

"Just some water would be good, it's about all I seem to be able to keep down at the moment," Izzie said as she put her hand to her lower back and sat down.

"Alex never said you and Jackson were a couple," Izzie said as April sat down opposite her, handing her a glass of water.

"Oh, well that's because we're not really, we're just friends," April replied as she ran her hand through her hair.

"Oh," Izzie said her eyes widening a little as she said slightly playfully, "It's just the way he was looking at you a moment ago, that's not the way a guy looks at a girl he's just friends with."

April felt her cheeks burn a little as she bit her lip and said, "Well, we did kind of, sort of, have a thing, but it's complicated," Feeling a little awkward, she hardly knew this girl, but she was already talking about something that she hadn't really told anyone before.

"Believe me, I know all about complicated, and I'm also a good listener," Izzie said warmly.

April gulped as she suddenly felt very emotional. Her situation wasn't just complicated, it was a complete and utter mess, it was beyond repair and suddenly all the emotion she had been bottling up inside came tumbling out as she started to sob and said, "I'm pregnant. We had sex the night before our boards and now I'm pregnant and..and Jackson must think I've trapped him. But I haven't, because I never wanted to do things like this. I always wanted to get married before I had kids, and to fall in love. Not, that I haven't fallen in love, but it's so complicated, it's such a mess." She said pausing and sniffing, realizing she probably wasn't making a whole lot of sense.

"Here," Izzie said kindly as she handed April a tissue from her bag.

"Thanks," April said as she dabbed her eyes and said, "I'm sorry, you must think I'm such a freak."

"Believe me, I'm really not in a position to be judging anyone," Izzie said laughing a little as April smiled too and Izzie said, "And April, no matter how desperate things seem at the moment, nothing, _nothing, _is unchangeable. I of all people know that….Maybe, Jackson just needs time to adjust."

"He proposed last week," April blurted out.

"He did, that's amazing," Izzie said nearly squealing as her eyes lit up.

"Well, it would have been amazing if his proposal speech hadn't gone something like, _'I've been thinking about what you would want and I got you this ring'_ Then shoving a rock in my hand so huge that it probably cost more than my annual salary, and expecting me to be grateful." Saying it out loud, April realized how bitter she still was as she saw Izzie's excited face drop, as she winced and looked at April a little sympathetically as she simply said, "Ah.."

"You see," April said in frustration, Izzie's reaction just confirming that despite Jacksons's good intentions, proposing to her to like that, had just made him come off as an insensitive idiot. She hadn't been expecting a candle lit dinner on the beach, whilst he bent down on one knee, she knew that was out of the question. But she had simply wanted a more heart felt speech, something that showed her he really cared.

"Okay, so being proposed to like that isn't every girls dream, but it's still a good thing" Izzie suddenly said. "April, you don't need me to tell you that life isn't a fairytale. But, don't you see the fact that he proposed to you at all, shows he's committed to you, that he cares about you deeply. At the end of the day he's a guy, which means at some point he is bound to screw up, because a lot of the time, they're clueless. He probably thought that just asking you to marry him, was enough to make you happy."

"But, what if I want it to make him happy too?" April said miserably.

"Guys like Jackson Avery, they don't do anything they don't want to. I'm not saying he wouldn't have stuck by you, done the decent thing, by all accounts from what Alex has said about him he's a good guy. But this isn't the 1950's. He went out and bought you that ring and proposed to you because he wanted to, because to him, you're the most important person in the world and that was what he wanted. It seems to me the issue here is just communication." Izzie said seriously.

April twisted her glass a little, she knew Izzie meant well, but she really didn't know Jackson. "I'm not so sure," she just said.

"Listen, I don't claim to know Jackson personally, but what I do know, is the way he was looking at you earlier, that's not the look of a guy who just proposes to someone for the hell of it." Izzie replied.

"Well, it's too late now, I've screwed it up." April sighed.

"It's never too late, I mean you're moving in together. Tell him how you feel, talk to him…..And when you do, remember…. I am an awesome wedding planner, " She said laughing, causing April to laugh too, as it suddenly hit her, she really didn't have anything to lose by telling Jackson the truth for once, as she started to think that maybe everything was going to be okay now somehow.

"So, you and Alex, what's the story there?" April said curiously, quickly changing the subject and shifting the focus away from her as they stopped laughing.

Izzie let out another small more embarrassed laugh and looked down at her drink, as she said, "Alex knew I was working over on the east coast. When he had his interview for Hopkins he contacted me and asked me if I wanted to meet up for a drink to catch up. So, I thought, why not? And this.." She touched her stomach, "Was the consequence."

"Oh," April replied, thinking maybe they weren't that different after all.

"Don't get me wrong though, as soon as I saw him again, I knew my life would never be the same, I was done trying to pretend I was over him, some things are just mean to be, right?" She added smiling knowingly at April again as April blushed, she really was starting to believe that.

…

"Don't know why they have to make these things so damn complicated," Alex said cursing from where he was lying flat on his back, screwdriver in hand, trying desperately to dismantle the head board on his old bed.

"You seriously going to take this thing back to Baltimore with you?" Jackson said.

"Nah, I want to, it's seen a lot of action this bed," he said grinning, as he added, "But Iz wouldn't like it…. It's worth quite a bit though, so thought I'd stick it on ebay or something. Unless you want it? Carry on the tradition of the ultimate bachelor bed." He finished, smirking a little.

"Nah, think I'll pass on that one," Jackson said shaking his head and smiling in amusement.

"So, you're the big man at the hospital now then? Dude, the chicks are going to love that," Alex said as Jackson ignored him and crouched down to examine the fixings on the legs of the bed.

"Oh, doubt I'll have much time for that," Jackson eventually replied, realizing Alex had absolutely no idea of his current situation, as he avoided eye contact and started unscrewing one of the legs.

"Seriously man, take advantage while you can. Once a woman's got you, I mean really got under your skin, that's it. There is _no_ going back. The beers and wild nights will just seem like a distant memory. You'll be too busy changing diapers, cleaning up baby puke and struggling with formula." He said shaking his head a little, as he added, "And you'll wonder when your life became so freakin lame."

"Bit like you then?" Jackson said raising his eyebrows as he glanced over at Alex. Amused to see he was still struggling with the head board, as he thought for a guy so used to performing highly complex surgical procedures he was sure making a mess of taking apart a simple bed.

Alex then broke in to a wide grin as he finally pulled off the head board and said, "Nah, my life's not lame, my life's pretty awesome. Also, even if I wanted to cheat and I'm not saying I do, I couldn't, Izzie wears me out...pregnancy hormones!" Jackson was silent as he thought sullenly to himself, _that_ was one of the perks of being an expectant father he was most definitely missing out on.

Still fiddling with a screw driver at the other end of the bed, attempting to take off the legs, Jackson looked over at Alex again, in the brief time he had been away he had really changed. In fact Jackson barely recognised him from the douchey immature guy he had been when he had left for Hopkins. Now Alex seemed less angry at everyone, more relaxed, like he'd finally found his place in the world, he seemed happy. And why wouldn't he be? He had the dream career, the beautiful wife and now a kid on the way too, he was completely fulfilled in every area of his life. And Jackson couldn't help but feel slightly envious, he wanted all that too.

"So, what is going on with April? She's acting even more weirdly then normal," Alex said, cursing under his breath some more, as he stood up and lifted up the headboard.

"Oh, she's just been having a bit of a hard time at work, that's all," Jackson replied as casually as he could, as he removed the leg he had been unscrewing from the bed.

"You know what she needs? A damn good seeing to. I'd do it myself, but this kinds of prohibits that now," Alex said as he held up the shiny gold band on his ring finger proudly. "So, I guess that leaves it up to you than man." He said looking directly at Jackson.

Jackson gulped, unable to hide his reaction as he flinched, slightly mad at Alex for referring to April like some slutty intern, but also unable to stop himself from visualising what had actually happened between him and April back in San Francisco. Causing Alex to grin some more as he narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "You sly dog, Avery. You've already done the deed. You stole her innocence and that's why she's acting so put out. Got to hand it to you man, I really didn't think she'd give it up that easily. So, let me guess, now she's had a taste for it, she's like a dog on heat? So, what's the problem? Sex on tap? I bet she wants to make up for all those lost years."

"If only it was that simple," Jackson muttered as he unscrewed a second leg.

"Oh, wow, dude, it's not just sex is it? You've got feelings for her?" Alex said as he stopped what he was doing for a second, to shoot Jackson a slightly shocked look. "So, what's the big deal, you're in to her, she's in to you?"

"The big deal is, lets just say you're not the only one around her, whose going to be swapping beer for diapers soon," Jackson blurted out a little glumly.

"You knocked her up?" Alex said his mouth falling wide open, as he broke in to a loud laugh saying. "That is priceless."

"Glad you find it so damn funny," Jackson said.

"I leave you both for five minutes and this is the consequence," Alex said still chuckling to himself. "But, seriously congratulations, man," Alex replied.

"Thanks, but I'm not so sure congratulations are in order. "Jackson replied.

"Listen, this isn't the end of the world. You work something out, you stand by her, do the right thing somehow."

"Yeah, well, I tried that, got her the biggest ring I could find, asked her to marry me and she threw it back in my face, when I thought that was what she wanted," Jackson said as he realized he still couldn't quite work out what he had done that was so wrong.

"Yeah, well that's chicks for you, they're never satisfied," Alex said, adding, "But, how did you go about putting it to her?"

"I said, that I thought it was the best thing for us to do," Jackson said, the frustration coming through in his voice.

"Yeah, well that there is your problem. Take it from someone who has spent their whole life disappointing women. They don't just want you to do what_ they_ want, they want _you_ to _want_ to do it too."

Jackson looked at him a little puzzled as Alex continued and said, "I know, it makes _no_ sense. But take Izzie, I could offer to go to every freakin parenting class on the planet, go to dinner parties with her stupid friends all the time and spend every Saturday painting the baby's room. But unless she thinks I actually want to be doing those things, there's no point me even bothering…So, my point is, you need to make April think that you want nothing more in the world than to marry her. You need to maker her feel like she's the only girl in the world. Make her see how you really feel. If she can see that you really want it too, then I can guarantee, she'll be putty in your hands."

Jackson just nodded a little as he slowly took in Alex's words of advice, maybe his proposal hadn't been the most romantic, Alex was right, April did deserve more.

* * *

April opened the door to what was going to be her new home for the immediate future. She'd lived in the house when it had been Meredith's and it was weird to think that it was now Jackson's.

She sighed a little at the masses of her and Jackson's belongings scattered all over the floor as she struggled with the last of her bags.

"Here, let me take that," Jackson said as he suddenly appeared out of no-where quickly taking her bag from her and setting it down on the floor.

"Jackson, I can still carry a bag," April replied unable to hide the little smile creeping on to her lips. No matter how hard she wanted to remain independent. It was secretly quite nice the concern Jackson was still showing. Especially given how awkward everything was between them and with all the stuff surrounding the move and his new position at the hospital.

"I'm sorry I was later back than I said. Izzie persuaded me to do some shopping for baby clothes with her before they caught their flight" April said a little cautiously. She'd had a great afternoon with Izzie, but she felt a little guilty she hadn't come back to help Jackson sort out the house. April and Izzie had shopped, then gone for coffees and swapped in great detail ever aspect of their pregnancies to date. Izzie had then told April to email her whenever she wanted and had also persuaded her to talk to Jackson tonight about how she felt, really felt.

"You get anything nice for the baby then?" Jackson enquired politely.

"No, not really, call me superstitious, but I think it's probably best to wait a bit," April replied.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Jackson said nodding.

"Listen, I…" They both suddenly said at the same time.

"You go first," Jackson said cautiously.

"No, no, you go first," April replied shyly.

"I was just going to say, come with me," Jackson said as he took April's hand gently and led her in to the kitchen.

"Something smells good," April said as she was immediately hit with a waft of home cooked food as she followed him in to their new big round kitchen. To see two plates of food laid out perfectly on the kitchen table with a row of candles in the middle.

Jackson smiled nervously as he gestured for April to sit down, "Well, it probably looks better than it tastes, the chicken is a little over done and the sauce probably needs more seasoning and I'm not sure about the potatoes, but I followed Izzie's recipe as best I could," he said.

It was then that April started to get a little suspicious. Maybe there was a reason she'd been out shopping all afternoon! "It looks delicious," She said as she picked up her fork excitedly.

"Oh and I got you some elderflower juice, it supposed to be the closest thing to wine," he said as he poured her a glass of the sparkling clear liquid.

"Thanks, Jackson. But you really didn't have to go to all this trouble for me," April said smiling as she looked at his piercing blue eyes staring back at her from where his face was illuminated by the flickering candle light.

"Yes, I did," he said slowly. "Because, April, I wanted tonight to be special, our first night in our new home together. I wanted it to be a night that you'll always remember. Because, April, I know things have been tough on you recently and I know I screwed it up before, so I'm not going to do that again. Because I'm done disappointing you and I'm done trying to pretend that I could ever feel about anyone else the way I feel about _you_. This baby or not, April, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with _you. _And maybe I didn't go about explaining that to you in the best way before, but I would be honoured if you would agree to be my wife. I know you want to take it slow, and I just want you to know that I'll wait, as long as it takes. But, April…." He said as he pushed his chair back and stood up, then slowly bent down on one knee in front of her and this time he handed her a much more modest looking box, as he looked deep in to her eyes and said, "Will you marry me?"

April could feel the tears of joy forming in her eyes, as all she could do was mouth the word, _"Yes!"_ Before flinging her arms around his neck and within seconds their lips had locked together, the kiss deep and passionate, releasing all the stored up emotion that had been trapped inside them….

a_/n - Please keep reviewing! :)_


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